The tale of a 33rd birthday:
First you will be forced to wear a silly hat,
so you will don a goony expression
Your cake will be adorned with tall candles
that won't blow out
no matter how hard you try.
you call in reinforcements,
lots of reinforcements,
who will finally extinguish your cake.
Then you will eat sashimi (raw fish),
and enjoy it immensely.
You will force your wife to eat raw octopus.
She will enjoy it much less than you.
You will receive beautiful handmade gifts
from your adoring fans